Content in Singleness

Being single in today’s world can be difficult, especially when we are surrounded by the social pressure to date and get married. But while we may feel a sense of loneliness because we are not in a relationship, we must not let this be our utmost focus. There is so much more to life than trying to find a future spouse. We have been given the comfort of knowing that God holds each of us in his hand and has every one of our lives planned out. Our calling is to live out each day in thankfulness to God for choosing us to be one of His elect people. We must also remember that we are not alone in this world, because we have the blessing of the communion of saints, and are able to turn to friends and family when we are feeling discouraged with uncertainty. Proverbs 12:25 says, “ Heaviness of the heart maketh it stoop: But a good word maketh it glad.”  

But while we do this we must not forget to turn to God as well. He is the greatest friend we will ever have, and He knows us better than anyone and what a gift it is to be able to go to Him in prayer. It is the best time to ask God to show us His will for us. We must believe that He will lead us to what we need. If we continually meditate in God’s word, the way will become clearer and clearer as we read what He is telling us. We are often misled by what we think we want and therefore are led to things we think we need. We must not let the longing slay the appetite for living. God’s plan is our plan.  

As we look around we see that we live in an age of entitlement. All around the wicked are giving in to their each and every desire as they live in a false sense of happiness and satisfaction in their earthly lusts. They reject any form of chastity in their relationships and Satan is glorified in it all, and this path ends in damnation. It is easy to get lured into that entitlement way of thinking. With this in mind and the temptation all around, face the future, and be content in your singleness. Whether or not God has a relationship planned for you or me, we can be assured that all things will work for our good. Our purpose is to serve him with our whole heart, soul, mind, and strength, and what an amazing calling that is.

Lisa Oomkes


Marriage is a very prominently discussed issue in the world at large today and in the church especially. Websites exist to help you find a potential partner. TV shows, whether sitcoms or soap operas, deal with family and marriage. Although the only traditional and Biblical kind of marital unity is between a husband and his wife, significant moves are being made to let men and women marry someone of their own sex. Homosexuality is increasingly accepted in our day and age. There are even churches that allow gays to be members in good standing and even go so far as to let some of these individuals serve as office bearers in their congregations. But what does the Bible say about marriage? How should we as young people and young adults go about seeking a marriage partner? The first married couple was Adam and Eve. God “…caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man” (Genesis 2:21,22). God did this so that Adam could have someone to nurture, comfort, and assist him in tending the Garden of Eden. Although they both fell into sin, they remained married to each other for the rest of their days. He gave us marriage because He created men and women to love each other and to find fulfillment in each other’s company. Marriage then is intended only for one man and one woman. “Male and female created he them” (Genesis 1:27b). Gay marriage has no place in either society or the church. Furthermore, sex is to be saved for the marriage state alone. There are plenty of television shows and movies that portray premarital sex as being acceptable, when in fact it is fornication. “Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge” (Hebrews 13:4). God commands every couple who is dating to remain chaste prior to tying the knot. What should we look for in a mate? If we are looking for a girl or boy, we might want to have common interests with them such as singing in a choir, traveling, riding bikes, reading similar kinds of books, etc., and these are all good things to look for in a potential spouse, but they are not the most important things in such a relationship. The most important aspect of marriage is being one in faith, that is, having the same religious beliefs, worshiping the same God and reading the Bible, and believing that it is truly God’s word to His people. This is easiest if you are dating someone from another Protestant Reformed Church. If you end up dating someone from outside the PRC, be careful and know what you believe. Have spiritual discussions with them and make sure that they exhibit an interest in attending church with you and that they want to be involved and are interested in Bible studies and other spiritual activities.  It is natural and healthy to seek a spouse. “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and  obtaineth favour of the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22). Going about this process involves much thought and prayer, and we must seek God’s instruction in this. We should also listen to our parents when they are telling us things that are good and Biblical regarding dating and marriage. Having said all of this, there is no shame in being single. It might not always be easy, but God sometimes calls us to that state, either temporarily or permanently. Our calling as single members is to be involved in the church in whatever capacity God has given us and to remain chaste. God blesses those who follow this word of His by giving them great comfort and peace and the assurance that whatever happens in this area of their lives is for their God. May God keep us faithful to His word!

Kevin Rau